When we consider making big changes or chasing bright dreams, we look at the people we admire – the ones who seem to achieve their dreams effortlessly – and make an understandable mistake.

We assume that those who achieve the most, doubt the least.

We imagine the people we admire leaping towards their dreams with arms raised, eyes bright and minds free of fear.

If only this was possible! We’ve wished for it, but a doubt-free life has never made itself known to us.

The three of us have worked with some highly accomplished humans, and we can tell you this. Every single one of them has moments where they want to poo their pants with fear, doubt and overwhelm.

(We’re speaking metaphorically). (Mostly).

Every single person we know, no matter how brilliant, says yes to something that stretches them, and then is consumed by thoughts along the lines of:

‘What on EARTH were you thinking, you ninny?’
‘You’ll never pull this off’.
‘You’re not smart enough’
‘You’re not good enough’.
‘You’ll royally stuff this up. And oh, while you’re thinking about how badly you’ll fail, you know that embarrassing memory from fifth grade that you’ve successfully suppressed until now? Here it is, in all its red-faced glory’.

We’ve been taught that the bright, shiny people are doubt-free when, in our experience, it’s quite the opposite. The people we admire are acting in spite of their doubts, not enjoying the absence of them.

How can we learn to recognise the doubt, then choose to be courageous regardless?

Here are our three pearls of wisdom on how to overcome self-doubt:

1. You are not your lizard brain: Remember that most doubtful thoughts stem from your left amygdala, often referred to as the lizard brain. Your lizard brain is tasked with keeping you small and hidden. This means that, whenever you go for something that your amygdala assumes will do the opposite of keeping you small and hidden (making a change, speaking out or creating something new, for instance), your lizard brain will feed you thoughts of doubt and fear. We don’t need to blame it: it’s simply doing its job. But what we can learn to do is to realise that we are not our lizards. We are so much more competent, confident and courageous than our lizards will ever give us credit for.
2. Name your inner critic to tame it: For most of us, the thoughts of our lizard brain sound like a mixed tape of negative and critical voices from our past including parents, teachers or other authority figures. One way to change your internal tune is by giving this inner critic voice a name and form, much like a character from a book or movie you’re familiar with. That way, when you hear self-doubting or critical thinking in the future, you can tame it by naming it. This reinforces your awareness that this is just a character in your inner story, not your true self speaking.  
3. Take some advice from Helen Mirren: This wildly wise woman and famous actress once said: “At 70 years old, if I could give my younger self one piece of advice, it would be to use the words ‘f*** off’ much more frequently….Don’t be afraid of fear.  Don’t let fear rule you.  For the moments when you are challenged by fears like, “am I good enough?”, “am I smart enough?”, “will I fail”? Look fear straight in its ugly face and barge forward.  When you get past it, turn around and give it a good swift kick up the ass!” Imagine the advice that 70-year-old you would offer to you. Try writing a love letter to yourself now from this future you, including some advice that speaks directly to the doubtful, fearful parts of you, while offering a healthy dose of love and adoration. 

And our three questions to help you quieten the doubt and move towards courage:

1. If your doubts disappeared for a year, what would that free you up to dream and to do?
2. What do you get or gain from listening to your self-doubt? What do you lose or leave out of your life when you do so?
3. Who would you be if you quit believing in what the voice of self-doubt says to you?