
Making Unpopular Decisions
We three have rocked a few boats throughout our lives. From leaving marriages to departing successful businesses, and even pausing
From experience, we know that you can be surrounded by people and still feel lonely. That you can catch up with friends, and not feel seen. That you can share your truth, and not feel heard.
Over the years, we’ve learned that finding your people involves staying open and taking risks. In fact, our friendship wouldn’t have happened without a combination of the two.
Case in point: How Gemma and Taryn met.
It was if the universe was conspiring to shove us together. We kept bumping into each other in unexpected places. First it was standing next to each other while pushing our (much littler than they are now!) kids on swings in a park we’d never been to before, and have never been to since. Then at a random work event. Then seated next to each other on a flight. It was when we both parked in the same car park and came face to face yet again as the elevator doors opened that we realised we were probably meant to be friends.
We’ve learned that the right people are meant to find us, and we’re meant to find them. We just need to be open to the clues. Sometimes these clues are thoroughly obvious, like with Taz and Gem. At other times, they’re quieter – like soft whispers, not loud announcements. It can be that spark of recognition you feel when you meet someone for the first time. An internal sense of: ‘Oh, YOU! I know you!’ It can be an unexpected feeling of joy in your heart when you speak with someone, even though the conversation itself is relatively mundane.
It takes courage to pause in the midst of our busy lives and pay attention to these clues. But they’re there. They’re always there.
(If you’re on the lookout for clues and getting nothing but crickets, try this on for size. Even if you feel like a bit of a numpty doing it, put your hand on your heart and say out loud: “I’m ready to find my people”. Then see what happens over the next few days and weeks. Sometimes changing our circumstances simply requires changing our story).
It also takes courage to act on the clues. At one point, though we can’t remember who said what, either Gemma or Taryn turned to the other and said something along the lines of “I think you’re awesome! I reckon we should be friends”.
We don’t tend to associate finding our people with taking risks. We’ve been fed a story that the right people will simply land in our laps, without us having to lean into any discomfort or fear. We haven’t found this to be true.
Case in point: How Mia and Gemma became friends.
Mia had a dream about Gemma. She dreamed they were writing a book together, and woke with the strong sense that they should meet. Mia could have dismissed this intuition and leaned away from the fear of sliding into Gem’s emails as a crazy-dream-stalker-lady.
We’re so glad she didn’t.
Luckily, Gemma was open to emails from crazy-dream-stalker-ladies, and the two of them met to talk about work. They instead became close friends, and only started working and writing together years later.
We’re also fed a story that, once you find your people, the risk-taking can stop. We haven’t found that to be true.
Case in point: How we became The Oyster Sisters.
After our friendship started, we kept taking risks. We took the risk of going deeper with each other. We bared our internal wobbly bits. We told each other how much our friendship means to us.We swagged next to each other in the middle of nowhere. We cried, wee-ed and vomited in front of each other. We had multiple tough conversations with each other. We took the risk of starting a podcast together. And now we’ve taken the risk of starting a business together.
How to find your people?
We reckon it’s by cultivating openness and courage. We’ve needed them both not just to find each other, but to deepen our friendship to the point that we really can call each other ‘our people’.
In summary:
1. Have faith that your people are meant to find you, and that you’re meant to find them
2. Stay open to the clues
3. Find the courage to take a risk and act on the clues
4. Keep taking the risks needed to deepen and strengthen your connection.
We’d love your perspective: how have you found your people? What pearls of wisdom can you pass on to others?
We three have rocked a few boats throughout our lives. From leaving marriages to departing successful businesses, and even pausing
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We acknowledge the First Nations people are the traditional owners on the land we work and live on and pay our respects to their Elders past, present and future.